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Joke of the Day

"Gorilla tape isn't stronger than duct tape anymore because... ... They shot and killed it."

"What's white and flies through the air? The second cumming."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... but a cop shot it."

"The oldest joke I know A girl with no arms or legs was sad on the beach. A man walked up and asked what was wrong. She said she'd never been fucked. He threw her in the water and said, ""Now ur fucked"""

"Did you hear that Zsa Zsa Gabor was suing the doctor who amputated her leg? ...The Judge threw out the case because she didn't have a leg to stand on."

"I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her."

"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"

"why do women not need to wear watches? there's a clock on the stove"

"I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side."

"I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure"