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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are over a dollar; deer nuts are under a buck."

"""When I was your age, I invented the time machine"" I told my Granddad."

"Just realized that we are seriously kicking China's ass in cookie technology. So, we've got that going for us, which is nice."

"If we had a break up letter there for every gender there was... We'd have ""Dear John"", ""Dear Jane"", and ""Dear Xir, Ruler of Omicron Percei 8"""

"A pop star who summons ghosts, AKA... Seance"

"What do you call a bunch of gay guys in a bowl for breakfast? Queerios"

"Political correctness gone mad. I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son. Apparently it's my ""daughter."""

"Yo mama's so fat she has titties in the front AND in the back"

"She asked me for breakfast in bed... I said ""maybe you should swallow next time."""

"Why is it called an Xbox One? Because you do a one and walk away."