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Joke of the Day
"What did one vampire say to the other vampire? Is that you coffin?"
Next Joke
 
"If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles."
"What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common? They both watch whales."
"\What is the leading cause for pedophelia? Sexy kids."
"I wish my lawn were a depressed emo so it would just cut itself."
"When you ask if I want fries or salad, I'll pretend it's a tough choice and we'll enjoy a genial laugh before you bring me more ketchup."
"I'm so horny the crack of dawn better be careful around me"
"Be careful people,there are a lot of scams on the internet For 19.99 I can show you how to avoid them"
"[nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone."
"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad!"