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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad!"

"I started calling my wife ""Zika""... ...so that I could just get a little head, baby."

"Two old men are walking through a park... ""Nice out, isn't it?"" ""Yes, I think I'll get mine out too."""

"*comes into work with black eye* oh please I'm fine guys! But you shoulda seen the other guy. He was a cabinet door that i walked into"

"Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you."

"What's the slowest, most painful way to kill yourself? Get married."

"I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel... I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens."

"Thank God football is back on. I've been watching baseball for months and it's only the 7th inning."

"In Soviet Russia, Crimea River."

"What are most incarcerated inner-city youths locked up for? Some bullshit"