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Joke of the Day

"So Nickelback walks into a bar... [xpost from r/funny] There's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny."

"What's a musician's favourite kitchen utensil? A Chopin' knife!"

"..which is why I start my sentences in the middle."

"My wife is like a drug to me She ruined my life."

"Tried to make a joke in my math class and no one laughed. I think they were 2/10's."

"Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend."

"How do we know that Batman is black? He can't go anywhere without Robin'"

"My friends were disappointed that I decided to stay home after work instead of going out with them... I said, ""Yea, I'm really into resting, aren't I ? """

"*whispers in bed* I want to try something with you I've never done before *engages in a loving and mutually beneficial adult relationship*"

"Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door.... but his girlfriend was dead against it. Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand"