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Joke of the Day

"My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week"

"My middle finger gets a boner when i think of you"

"Nothing shows the depressing reality of physical aging more than a boy band reunion."

"How was the bear able to move in order to get honey? It had muscles."

"My mom once told me.... ....the only way I'll ever get laid is if I crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I am handsome I would have exactly one dollar.! Thanks Mom.!"

"its funny when people are like ""whos to say whats truly 'cool'... who gets to define cool"". its like, come on dude. hot babes decide it. duh"

"What is a lesbians favorite day of the week? Tuesday"

"""A gripping tale of love and survival..."" is how one reviewer described me tumbling down the stairs while trying to retrieve a stray M&M."

"What do you call an Asexual who tries to be hetero? an Ace in the Hole."