66405

Joke of the Day

"New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10."

"What do you call a cat eating a girl out? Cannibalism"

"""When I was a kid I asked my mum what a couple was and she said: 'Oh, two or three'. She wonders why her marriage didn't work."

"Friends are like penguins If you stab it, it dies."

"Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. The thought had never entered his head before."

"What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus."

"Did you hear about the man who got his entire left side of his body mauled off by a bear? He's all right now."

"RT = Retweet. PR = Paraphrased tweet. MR = Mangled tweet. Please know which one you are doing and use accordingly."

"Did you hear about the teacher who never farted in class? It turns out she was a private tooter."

"more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of Beyonce running through your veins"