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Joke of the Day
"I leave the interview room as I entered it, karate chopping air and unemployed."
Next Joke
"""I'll catch up with you, I just have to make ONE more joke on Twitter"" (How I'd die in a horror movie)"
"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"
"""Look who comes crawling back to apologize."" ""I am so sorry, can I please have my wheelchair back now?"""
"You hear about that condiment bandit? he smuggled as much as he could mustard"
"Why is peter pan always flying? He never lands."
"How do you make holy water? Fill a pot with water and boil the hell out of it."
"Abortion, just brings out the kid in you."
"If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han."
"Knock Knock Whos there Ellen Ellen who? Ellen Pao Oh k lol stay out."