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Joke of the Day

"You want to know who never gets checked for their ID? HumIDity."

"China recently banned girls from eating bananas on live streams... so now the people with hemorrhoids can now get off from girls eating raspberries instead."

"Why did Moses part his hair? To make a path for the Israelice."

"Did you hear about the preschool kidnapping? He woke up"

"Why did people hate going on road trips with Kurt Cobain? Because he always called shotgun"

"With as much as Adobe nags me to update, I feel like I should have its surname and be making it sandwiches all the time."

"Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch."

"I don't ever have to worry about getting sex... Because I'm married, so I already know I won't. Takes all the guesswork right out of it."

"Beer without alcohol is like a vibrator with no batteries... It fills you up nicely but lacks the buzz..."

"This is gonna be misinterpreted, but I've been sitting on hard wood for an hour and my ass is killing me"