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Joke of the Day

"Ever notice that a European male tourist dresses like a 7th grade girl from the suburbs? Graphic tees and Hollister jeans allllll day."

"Customer: Waiter look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers too?"

"My new puppy is an excellent blacksmith... ...every time I yell he makes a bolt for the door!"

"Pizza is like sex... When its good, its really good, but when its bad, its still pretty good."

"*Shoves a guy* I think you mean the SECOND biggest ""The Sound of Music"" fan on earth, bro."

"Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater."

"Why won't the US change over to the Metric system? Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters."

"Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokemon."

"Measurements in China. How long is a China man?"

"On this new diet where I eat carbs and then more carbs and then the carbs cross each other out."