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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater."
Next Joke
"It's no superpower but I'm pretty good at winding down my car window without moving my arm so it looks like I have power windows."
"You say pervert with a telescope. I say biological astronomer."
"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."
"What is the saddest Olympic sport to watch? Water Polio"
"What do 6.28 people eat? 2"
"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."
"Two monitors are at a new years party... One says ""So, what's your new years resolution?"" The other replies ""1080p""."
"When I get alzheimer's I'm going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day."
"I like my women like I I like my coffee.. Ground up and in the freezer."