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Joke of the Day

"Do you think people who chanted ""Drill baby, drill!"" for Palin had even a flicker of self awareness while watching Avatar?"

"I gave away all my dead batteries recently... ... free of charge, of course."

"I think I'm a mushroom Everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me bullshit."

"A woman's heart is just as dumb as a guy's dick."

"What do you call peanuts in space? Astronuts!"

"Nothing screams ""I don't care about being on time for work"" like hopping on Twitter first thing in the morning."

"Forgot your password? Hint: your cat's name ~ a crazy cat lady's worst nightmare"

"Wanted to do something patriotic today so I bought a gun and fifty Big Macs."

"Why did the little pig try to join the Navy? He loved to sing ""Oinkers Aweight"""

"Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at 'Sporting Goods?' Because he likes Dick's better."