34715

Joke of the Day

"Forgot your password? Hint: your cat's name ~ a crazy cat lady's worst nightmare"

"* thinks of a tweet before falling asleep * decided to remember a ""key word* so I can remember it * wakes up * forgot key word"

"Why did i buy a black phone? So it would run faster!!"

"My daughter doesn't know I put the last pudding cup in her lunch earlier this evening, so she won't know I took it out and am eating it now."

"What do you call a male prostitute who can't stop laughing? A giggle-o"

"I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in."

"TIFU by exclusively using Linkin Park lyrics as replies at work and end up getting a warning letter from HR... But in the end. It doesn't even matter."

"Q: Why did Ebenezer Scrooge go to New York City? A: To see the Grumpire State Building."

"What do you call an orchestra with bronchitis? A coughcoughony!"

"Is your birthday the 10th of October? Because you look like a 10/10!"