136205
Joke of the Day
"Wanted to do something patriotic today so I bought a gun and fifty Big Macs."
Next Joke
"You look like my Asian friend from school. Yeah his name was Ug-lee!"
"Adulthood: If I do the thing I like, I'll be too tired to do the thing I hate."
"How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before? He has claw marks on his forehead."
"A physicist saw a man standing on a ledge The physicist yelled out ""Don't jump, you have so much potential!"""
"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they're ugly, and they smell bad [and hate jokes](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d2gmw/why_do_girls_wear_makeup_and_perfume/)"
"Kim Kardashian settles lawsuit with Old Navy over stealing her likeness; also settles with The Gap over stealing her nickname."
"I walked in and found my wife in bed with my best friend, I kicked them both out of the house. and he was the best dog I ever had"
"Before I do anything important, I always ask myself ""would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"""
"Guess what? Chicken butt."