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Joke of the Day

"On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot"

"What is the difference between a lesbian and a wheat thin? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker."

"What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!"

"If this tweet gets 5 retweets, I will threaten a public official on Facebook."

"""I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? 'cause I smell carrots..."" ~ Snowmen."

"A blind man walks into a bar... ... Then in a table, then in a chair..."

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10? Because Seven ate Nine!"

"How do you make an epileptic dance? Throw a flashbang into the room."

"yea whataver ... i have a gf shes uhhh *looks around* imported. i mean foreign. yea shes a Modelo too. no i said model. a very especial girl"

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Patty"