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Joke of the Day
"""I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? 'cause I smell carrots..."" ~ Snowmen."
Next Joke
"What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths? A running gag."
"Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo Today ? Apparently they still have 500 million users."
"My gf said men only think with their penis. I told her to go ahead and blow my mind."
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."
"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Me and my running friends always run 5Ks, but now they want to run 10K races and I really hate running 10Ks"
"Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you've done with the place."
"Its cool to pee into blue toilet water and watch it turn a different color... just not when it turns purple"
"DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny."
"""Every kiss begins with k"" I whisper to myself as I read the one letter reply from my crush."