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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she was feeling Light-Headed from a Low Iron Level... So to help her, I raised the Ironing Board to a more Suitable Height..."

"John is swinging Lisa around with a period of 0.5 revolutions per second. What happens when the period is increased? John Unexpectedly paints his walls red."

"I hope when the Avengers meet Spider-Man they give him shit for not helping when NYC got attacked."

"I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album. It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs."

"So my girlfriend came over and wanted breakfast So I offered her my personal salami and if she tried hard enough she could get some dipping sauce as well"

"What do you call an elephant that looks like a rhino? 'Elephino."

"What's Forest Gump's password? 1forest1"

"What did one end of the rope say to the other? We were bound to get together..."

"What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh."

"How do you reuse a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the shit out of it!"