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Joke of the Day

"Daddy! Daddy! I can't stop running in circles! Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

"Two guys were walking down the street. . . One guy turns into a building, the other one goes, ""Oh my God! How the fuck did you do that?!"""

"Why do jews watch porn backwards? so they can come when the prostitute hands the money to the guy"

"What did one deer say to the other after leaving a gay bar? Dude, I can't believe I just blew a hundred bucks."

"At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked ""I've never seen so many priests in one room"" I guess he's never been to a kids party then"

"AMA Request: Someone who has successfully committed suicide."

"What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? Patty O'Furniture."

"Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah."

"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in 5 years...... I don't have 2020 vision"

"Why do Communists only drink coffee? Because proper tea is theft."