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Joke of the Day

"Daddy! Daddy! I can't stop running in circles! Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

"A man had a stroke and lost the use of the left side of his body. He's all right now."

"Today I met a guy who said he was a Premature Ejaculator He came out of nowhere"

"What is an epileptics favourite food? Seizure Salad"

"everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)"

"Do you want to see the birthmark on my arse? It looks like a colon!"

"Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends."

"Why didn't the spaceship take off? Becuase it was astronauty"

"Sure, there's no ""I"" in ""team""... But there's, like, three in ""idiot."""

"We've all butt-dialed someone. But have you ever butt-married someone? Coming this fall on TBS..."