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Joke of the Day
"I heard reincarnation... ...is making a comeback."
Next Joke
"What dog can tell the time ? A watch dog !"
"Why should you never mess with an angry dysentery patient? They lose their shit over the smallest things!"
"Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He's excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time."
"""You go girl!! Your dance moves are on point! Why not get up on stage for some karaoke too! You're an amazing singer!"" - Vodka"
"Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity."
"My friend gets pissed when they call his phone a droid I told him: it's **An**droid, after all."
"Just got off 30 min phone call w a friend who has twin 2 yr olds, & even tho i havent had sex in a week I'm taking a morning after pill NOW."
"Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band.."
"I wanted a dog. My wife wanted a cat. We had to compromise so we got a cat."