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Joke of the Day

"Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity."

"Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. ""Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?"" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!"

"What's worse than a talking parrot joke? The Holocaust."

"If a quiz is quizzical what is a test?"

"Enviromentalists:""How can we stop the rising oceans Me (understands displacement but not enviromentalism):""Pull all those big whales out."

"""Doctor, tennis has caused bad pain in my forearms"" -There's nothing I can do ""There isn't?"" -Not until you bring in your other two arms"

"""This is so wrong,"" I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut"

"If you like The Onion, take a look at The Ironic Times"

"Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione? She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor."

"If you hold a SUV up to your ear, you can almost hear the sound of the ocean screaming."