65390

Joke of the Day

"Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. And I was like ""*Sex-education* is so advanced now that they also give homework!"""

"Things I trust more than Trump 1.Flint, Michigan water 2.Bill Cosby drinks 3.Elevator rides with Ray Rice 4.Donated blood from Magic Johnson 5.Casey Anthony with my kid"

"The truth is out there; it just hasn't been indexed well."

"Did you hear about Elon Musk's X in Virginia? They had a firey start, then a major break up."

"How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb? One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her."

"I really think they should rename the ""Twin"" size mattress to ""Jack"", since it makes more sense along with the King and Queen sizes, and that's mostly what happens in that size bed anyway."

"What's the difference between hanging with friends and jacking it on the toilet? One means you're taking a load off and shooting the shit, the other is taking a shit and shooting a load off."

"How do you make a dog meow? Put him in a wood chipper and listen to him go ""meeeeowwww""."

"I have a pet tree... It's just like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Likalotapus."