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Joke of the Day

"It's pretty stupid how cats will just play with the same toy over and over as if it might do something new. Hold on, gotta check my iPhone."

"Look at the clock at the end of a workday and it's 4:04 pm. Where did the time go!?"

"Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work."

"Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?"

"Q: What did the Dorito say to the other Dorito. A: I can't tell you it was to cheesy."

"Let's take a moment and remember the tragedy the Norwegians have suffered... they will never get to see Amy Winehouse live."

"Today's a really good day... 10/10"

"How can you tell if your buddy is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"What happened to the girl who put too many deviating data into her box plot? In the end her spread was so large she had to present it without any whiskers."

"Why did the Indian cross the road? To buy chikken tikka masala!"