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Joke of the Day

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."

"Two atoms are talking: ""Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons!"" ""Are you sure?"" ""Yes, I'm positive!"""

"Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone."

"""There's plenty of fish in the sea"" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone."

"I'm not slurring, I'm speaking in cursive."

"Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities."

"Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell."

"I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low."

"There's a little ""I'm jealous"" in every ""whatever."""

"At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both."