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Joke of the Day

"Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you."

"I LIKE THE WAY YOUR FLESH IS GATHERED ABOUT YOUR SKELETON - from pickup lines draft folder"

"I tried to buy the father from the Addams Family from a young starlet. She told me she was Sellin'a Gomez"

"You can't be a real country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."

"FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: ""Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"""

"Cyber Monday! a/s/l?"

"H: I think we should see other people. Me: Do I have to? I don't even really want to see you."

"Why did batman fill his freezer with water bottles? Because he wanted just ice."

"Wait, so hallways in mental institutions aren't called psychopaths? Well they should be."

"British corn maze scientist found out..."