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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to put a pizza joke here ...but it was too saucy."

"""No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 18. ""No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 28."

"The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went."

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get the bat mobile."""

"Can putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"

"Cars have reverse lights so you can drive the wrong way at night, like the signs tell you to."

"My first time doing standup was a lot like my first time having sex. I finished way too early and when it was over I couldn't stop apologizing."

"I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn't put it down."

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours...? Not *your* cheese!"

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster who got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."