180225

Joke of the Day

"My Ex-Wife My ex-wife and I could not reconcile our marriage because of religious differences. She thought she was God. I disagreed."

"Wait till the hamburglar finds out about money"

"My girlfriend broke up with me for making too many Linkin Park references. It pushed me One Step Closer to the Edge."

"If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier."

"Say what you like about us Arabs, but at least we don't go to Africa and start naming lions 'Ahmad' and 'Hassan'."

"If you just got invited to do something on New Year's Eve, it means someone else cancelled."

"Shit old people Google: 1. Dubstep 2. Skrillrex 3. Hashtag 4. DTF 5. Steampunk 6. Pinterest 7. Linsanity 8. Scarlett Johansson naked"

"How do you know when a woman is pregnant? She switches from Ragu to Prego."

"What did the philosopher say to his coworker? ""Cleanup on the detergent aisle"""

"What did Jesus say after he was resurrected? Nailed it"