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Joke of the Day

"You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet."

"How guys wake up In the morning Brain: ""Oh f*ck."" Body: ""Don't get up."" Dick: ""THIS IS SPARTAA!!!"""

"What's the difference between everybody and bullets? Everybody misses Harambe."

"Whats the difference between a Pizza and Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"If a guy is the one that plows the girl than doesn't that make him the hoe?"

"Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress."

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke!"

"I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said ""No!"". For one thing, we don't have any kids..."

"A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive."""

"The inauguration ceremony should be like the olympics. They can play the US national anthem, then the Russian one."