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Joke of the Day

"After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently"

"When a knight in armour was killed in battle what sign did they put on his grave ? Rust in peace !"

"How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before? Oh, they'll tell you."

"What does OP never do?"

"First time I got high was pretty intense. I was in the back seat of my brothers car. Must have been some good shit since I'm an only child."

"5 minutes into America's Got Talent and I learned we don't have talent, we have a bunch of delusional idiots that don't want real jobs."

"Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children a dachshund? He wanted a dog they could all pet at once."

"What do you call a quadriplegic Canadian? A Can't-adian!"

"I'm a Buddhist pothead so I hope I'm reincarnated as a horse so I can come back and eat grass all day."

"The hardest thing about being a Pink Floyd fan... ...is watching a vegetarian eat pudding."