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Joke of the Day

"In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I've put the biscuits on a higher shelf. Boy, I'm gonna be sore tomorrow."

"Scientists have discovered that radioactive fluids with a half-life of 3 years take a long time to travel through valves"

"My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! What an idiot! Who threatens someone with a vacation???"

"How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder."

"Excuse me, but do you need the Jaws of Life? Because damn girl, you're crushin' it"

"Just came up with this one Q:Why do black people despise environmental studies? A:Cause they always get hung up on trees."

"What spice can't be in sol food? Ginger."

"How do you teach a Jew to pay attention? You send him to a concentration camp."

"JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)"

"""Liquor in the front, poker in the back"" is not an acceptable tee shirt slogan for my church's charity poker team... I know that now."