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Joke of the Day

"Donald - Knock knock Hilary- Who's there? Donald - Interrupting Donald Trump Hilary - Interrupting Don--- Donald - WRONG!"

"Popeye was a lonely sailor no wonder why he had such big forearms."

"Schroedinger's theory of attraction 1. Be attractive 2. Don't be attractive"

"A man and his zebra There lives a man and his zebra Jose. Jose is hard of sight. Every morning, just at dawn, the man takes out Jose and askes him ""Jose, can you see by the dawn's early light?"""

"What did Eminem learn to defend himself? Marshall arts."

"How is a girlfriend like a pronoun? Your's is possessive"

"They say alcohol kills people. Lets not forget how many people were born because of it."

"Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ""You're next."" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"Ever heard of Black Jesus? I hear he's pretty hung."

"Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I'm not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know."