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Joke of the Day

"Popeye was a lonely sailor no wonder why he had such big forearms."

"On Halloween, how do skeletons call their friends? With their iBone."

"Did you hear about the math teacher... ...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard? He really rose to the equation."

"What did the man say to the suffocating clown? You've got to be choking"

"What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts. "

"[after raking leaves into a pile on my lawn] ME: ah, perfect. these leaves are all tidy and there is nothing that can change this"

"What's the difference between you and a naked ringneck? One's a plucked pheasant, and I don't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"A man walks into a bar... ""A man walks into a bar and the bartender says""... ...""Stop speaking in third person Jaqen"""

"What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers."

"At least you'll be able to watch Jeremy Clarkson on Dave for the next 12 years."