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Joke of the Day

"I feel like when life gives me lemons I just give them back because I hate holding stuff."

"If you're getting annoyed, you might throw up your hands out of frustration. If you're a cannibal, you might throw up someone else's hands out of your stomach."

"sew myself into an anime body pillow, trick some unsuspecting outcast into loving a human. the ultimate prank"

"What do Subway and Chuck E Cheese's have in common? Shitty food."

"I really do not understand lent... ...I'd better give up trying!"

"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."

"Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck"

"I wrote a poem about the NFL It has 32 offensive lines."

"Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts"

"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"