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Joke of the Day

"Here's a question. If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife switched phones and Facebook profiles for 24 hrs would you still have a relationship!!!!"

"I have a phobia of German sausages... I fear the Wurst."

"When someone describes themselves as a ""foodie"" I automatically assume they shit a lot."

"Sharks prefer Stevie Wonder to Ray Charles in a blind taste test."

"My daughter is so ugly... ...everytime I molest her I have to close my eyes and think of her sister."

"Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!"

"What are some good ""hate on America"" jokes from other countries? Try your best to offend me! I want something to make me go fuck, that was good."

"I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him"

"Saturday in my 20's: ""Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!"" Tonight: ""Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"""

"My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat's tail."