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Joke of the Day

"For Halloween I'm giving out razor blades with candy in them. These kids'll be shaving away and then BAM - nougat everywhere."

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"I just watched a movie following a black man in a zombie apocalypse. It was the shortest movie I've ever watched."

"What's the difference between a tea bag and England? A tea bag stays longer in a cup."

"I've been trying to explain asymptotes to my friends... They're getting closer every time."

"If you start peeing out blood Urine big trouble"

"Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed over by a period"

"Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar."

"I was thinking about making a sodium joke ...but Na."

"Why did the cannibal have an upset stomach? He ate someone who disagreed with him."