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Joke of the Day

"I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once."

"They finally created a documentary about clocks. It's about time."

"What do you call a postmodernist ravioli? An intellectual impasta'."

"If your uncle jack helped you off an elephant Would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?"

"I used to live on the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor But that's another storey."

"LF : Clean-ish jokes Need new jokes that aren't dark so I don't scare away the girl I like. Engineering and soccer ones are pluses. Thanks for the help."

"How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they enlighten themselves."

"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride our bikes!"

"If a guy calls Life Alert and says ""Help I can't get up!!"" Does he have ED or can he really not get up??"

"it's not abuse if the substance likes it."