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Joke of the Day

"If an apple a day keeps the doctor away how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?"

"Did you guys hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."

"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."

"It's not herpes I burned my lip on a hot sausage."

"Everyone is talking about how good this Mayweather is. I couldn't agree more; it's 75 and not a cloud in the sky."

"When you have kids, ""sleeping in"" is just lying in bed trying to figure out what that crash was."

"Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says ""I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"" ""No worries, I see an elevator coming."""

"*drives up to liquor store door, honks horn *wine jumps off shelf, hops into my car *speeds off"

"Jurassic World is so unrealistic. Like a teenager would ever just drop his cell phone while being chased by a dinosaur."

"What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad? I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake."