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Joke of the Day
"I like Donald Trump how I like Destiny Overhyped and without a campaign."
Next Joke
"There is a order to the universe: space, time, and Chuck Norris...just kidding Chuck Norris is the first"
"[looking at an old pic of me and my wife in college] Me: Wow, you used to be hot Wife: *death glare* Me: ...but not as hot as you are now"
"That moment when your crush is absent, and you wasted your time going to school."
"Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight. If at some point you cannot breathe, do not wake me."
"Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree? They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count."
"Guess What? Chicken Butt."
"Shooting guns is a stupid hobby. Its much easier and more cost efficient to shoot targets!"
"A picture so sexy my computer just covered my eyes."
"My friend told me he broke my lamp He said I hope you're not mad. No, im delighted"