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Joke of the Day

"Shooting guns is a stupid hobby. Its much easier and more cost efficient to shoot targets!"

"Probably the worst time to ask ""shouldn't we go on a date first?"" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer."

"I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I cant jelly my dick in your ass"

"I really would love to see two mimes arguing"

"My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word ""slimming"", I explain to the other homeless people."

"Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!"

"I like my women like I like my butter In a box, in a fridge."

"My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me."

"We were promised flying cars and instead all we got were magic glowing rectangles to access all the world's knowledge :("