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Joke of the Day

"Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight. If at some point you cannot breathe, do not wake me."

"HOT! dog what did the dog say about sexy dog to is friend wow look at that hot dog"

"Did you hear about the couple who went on a second honeymoon to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary? This time it was his turn to sit on the edge of the bed and cry because it was too big."

"How do you write an essay that blows people away? With lots of drafts"

"I always thought Americans should say ""B"". Because Canadians say ""Eh"", and Mexicans say ""Ci""."

"A skeleton walks into a bar orders a beer and a mop."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I replied ""Shut your mouth you fat cunt"""

"I went to Applebee's for dinner last night Our food was so good that I asked the waitress to bring out the chef, so they brought out the microwave."

"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin dating Chris Brown."

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."