64695

Joke of the Day

"Girl told me she had a dream that I made love to her I mean, technically, she didn't say ""dream,"" she said ""nightmare,"" but close enough."

"Sometimes waking up means the best part of your day is over."

"Roll, roll, roll your joint, Twist it at the end, Spark it up and take a puff, Then pass it to a friend."

"What two words have thousands of letters in them? Post office."

"Husband to wife: ""I am impressed, you only talked to your friend on the phone for 20 minutes."" Wife: ""Oh, I dialed the wrong number"""

"6 year old wouldn't drink out of my cup because she doesn't want my ""DNA"". Should I tell her?"

"What do you say to someone with a bladder problem? Urine trouble."

"Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? A Hippo weighs 700lbs but a Zippos a little lighter"

"A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand The monk says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"When life gives you lemons, make a dress with them. -Lady Gaga"