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Joke of the Day

"It's taken me ages... ...but I've finally finished reading Stephen Hawking's book. It's about time."

"female rappers the only flow female rappers have is their menstruation"

"Behind Every Successful man. Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a women what do we learn from this? Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman."

"If a tiger goes to bite you, confuse him by french kissing him. You'll probably still die, but at least you got to make out w/ a tiger."

"What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe? Mitosis!"

"Yo momma's so fat... .. when she fell out of bed, it was detected by LIGO."

"Someone hit my fender so I told them, 'be fruitful and multiply'... But not exactly in those words. -Woody Allen"

"""YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"" - I yell at the McDonalds drive thru cashier after she tells me its 25 cents more for extra BBQ sauce."

"A brand-new cigarette says to a used cigarette -Dude, you are a fag -Umm, Why? -I just saw five guys take turns in sucking your butt."

"If you eat a block of cheese and do a lunge, it should balance out, right? Actually, it was less lunge, more trip, but still."