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Joke of the Day

"Behind Every Successful man. Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a women what do we learn from this? Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman."

"How do mussels reproduce? They shuck eachother."

"So I typed in ""r/lastweeksposts""... And was immediately redirected to 9gag. Go figure."

"My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked."

"*SNAP* *wife screams* *walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* ""why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"""

"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's called wedding cake."

"I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?"

"Rumors are that Harry Styles is BiSexual according to a recent interview I hear they're going to change the name of the band to 'Both Directions'"

"Wait in a dressing room until an employee comes to ask if they can help. Answer yes, pause, then say, ""But I need to be able to trust you"""

"Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal: Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee: ""FIFA has an Ethics Committee"""