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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a patty melt? Give Marcie a strap-on."
Next Joke
"Repeat after me: It doesn't matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won't solve it."
"What do you call a giant squid who runs a tow service in Indonesia? A Kraken-towa!"
"""I donno. America's Got Ghosts?"" -- someone in charge of a channel I probably pay $10 a year for and never watch."
"I have six words for you."
"My sister has promised to sing at my funeral. I hope she goes before I do."
"Genetically modified fruit never ceases to amaze me. Check out this unnaturally large melon. Ah, it's not a melon. It's a grape."
"And now I spend the rest of the day worrying about whether or not I removed the sticker from the apple I just ate."
"Hitler Maybe Hitler was just a fitness trainer and he was helping all the Jews burn a few calories"
"A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it's filled with everyone's mother-in-laws."