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Joke of the Day
"I have six words for you."
Next Joke
"You can't choose your family but you can choose a hitman."
"""Honey, don't try to feed ice cream to the Christmas tree,"" is a thing I literally just said."
"""The garbage needs to go out. It's full of candy wrappers."" ""Is Eminem in there?"""
"What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army."
"What's the Best thing about Duct Tape? It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm."
"There was a fight in the Fish and Chip shop the other day The fish got *battered* and the chip got *a-salted*."
"She was like ""wrong hole"", so I said ""adventurous on the e-harmony profile isn't knitting quilts Velma"", long story short I'm still single."
"Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex... I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"What would you name a prequel to a story about a man who doesn't age Personally I'm happy with 'The Picture of Ionian Gray'"