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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are swimming in a tank... one looks at the other and says, ""You know how to drive this thing?"""

"Q: What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy? A: Decalfinated."

"Whats the difference between a wife and a job? After ten years the job still sucks."

"Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic. Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid."

"Why are black guys eyes red after sex? From the pepper spray."

"If you fall I will be there - Floor"

"Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work anymore!"

"DETROIT: im doing a secret show at 8pm tonigt at a small club dowmtown! mesage me for details!!! ME: omg a talkimg city"

"a woman wrote a c function to calculate the weight of her breasts the program crashed due to stack overflow"

"It's amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature's wonders!"