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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the lawyer: ""What is your fee?"" Lawyer says: ""1000 US dollars for 3 questions."" Man: ""Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive?"" Lawyer: ""Yes, what is your third question?"""

"My wife called me a paedophile yesterday Quite a long word for a 9 year old."

"What is a terrorist favorite Pokemon move? Self-Destruct"

"Say what you will about Vlad the Impaler He was one hell of a proctologist."

"I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014"

"I reported my bike stolen, now the thief can't use it anymore. Since the police is on it."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur with vertigo? Falloffalottapuss"

"what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib"

"Donald Trump has written several books on business... and they all end in chapter eleven. Credit to Triumph for that one."

"Pick a number between 1 and 10 Pick any number between 1 and 10. I will try and guess what number it is. Pick a number I'd say you chose 6 Some people will have just had their minds blown"