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Joke of the Day

"What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands."

"How do you tell if someone is a metalhead, pot-smoker or pro-gay? They never shut up about it! :D"

"Just so we're all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can't make a cell phone call from my basement."

"The IBS drug commercial that mentions ""urgent diarrhea"" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had."

"I think Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around on random things."

"What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette? *Gluten tag*"

"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"

"I bought a Delorean R/C car today. I accidentally ran it at full speed. I guess I'll have to wait about 10 years to get it back."

"Whats the difference between a Jewish and a Black person? About $100,000"

"Why are jokes about rotten eggs banned? Because they're infeggtious"