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Joke of the Day

"I just leaped over a 3ft tall dog gate with the skill and grace of an olympian to get a snack from microwave. *Adds track star to resume*"

"What's worse than being German on D-Day? Being single on V-Day."

"Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then."

"I'm think about taking up Jousting so I have something to talk about at awkward dinner parties."

"what's a pirate comedian's favorite reddit? aaaarrrrrrrr/jokes"

"Q: How do you make any watch a stopwatch? A: Don't wind it."

"What does a sandal do on Sunday's? It saves its sole."

"I recently invented a new word to describe a lot of the jokes on the subreddit. Plagiarism."

"A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""what is this a joke?"""

"Did you hear about the terrorist attack in France last night? The police say the guy was not motivated, but other than that, all they know is that he wasn't very Nice"