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Joke of the Day

"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on my organ My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long"

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"An Irish man walks out of a bar... Not possible."
"Tim: This is Tim from accounting. Me: Hi Tim from accounting. Tim: Just say Tim. Me. Tim. Tim: How are you today? Me: Tim."
"My friend got caught having a wank in the showers on a school trip It completely ruined our visit to Auschwitz"
"I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it."
"Three men walk into a bar... You'd have thought the third one would have seen it."
"What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died? Napoleon Blownaparte"
"Divorced barbie Q: What comes with the new Divorced Barbie doll? A: All Ken's stuff"
"What do Bud Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."
"How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!"