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Joke of the Day

"What do thesauruses eat for breakfast? Synonym rolls."

"I like my coffee like i like my women... ...from a third world country and at a reasonable price!"

"What does tofu have in common with a Dildo? They are both meat substitutes."

"Did you hear about the baker who got electrocuted last week? He stood on a bun and a currant shot up his leg."

"First date Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers Her: Wow, impressive Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos"

"What did one triangle say to the other triangle? Hey, we should get together and square dance!"

"I guess it was George Michaels...... Last Christmas."

"Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving"

"Professor: A wise man doubts everything. Only a pin-head is positive. Student: Are you sure of that sir? Professor: Positive."

"There's a secret menu item at McDonald's but you can't order it, you can only get it by acting like a jerk. (Cheeseburger wiped on shoe)"